Literary Craving

I grew up reading most of the classic fairy tales. I dreamed of having Rapunzel's long beautiful hair; I longed for Cinderella's glass slippers and her Prince Charming; I feared Rumpelstiltskin and never really understood what the Pied Piper of Hamelin really wanted. I even remember watching the Faerie Tale Theatre with my brother every weekend. Now that time has gone by, that there are no kids in the family, fairy tales are just a blur. However, a couple of years ago I came across this article on the Sleeping Beauty and its many uses throughout history and all sort of memories and questions popped up. I could even add anger to that list because in the end I felt foolishly deceived. I know it's not a big deal but knowing just half of the story, of the truth, is one of the things that makes this world go wrong.

When Politically Correct Bedtime Stories by James Finn Garner came into my hands, it took away all the bitterness. I laughed at the foolishness of the originals, at the quirky rewriting, but most of all, at my own naivety. Some of the tales I had read as a child, others I knew nothing about. So I thought it'd be best to read the "originals" first and then read Garner's new version to fully understand them.

Among my favourites are Little Red Riding Hood (the nerve of that girl!):

The wolf said, "You know, my dear, it isn't safe for a little girl to walk through these woods alone."

Red Riding Hood said, "I find your sexist remark offensive in the extreme, but I will ignore it because of your traditional status as an outcast from society, the stress of which has caused you to develop your own, entirely valid, worldview. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must be on my way."

Cinderella was a laugh:

"Hello, Cinderella, I am your fairy godperson, or individual deity proxy, if you prefer. So, you want to go to the ball, eh? And bind yourself into the male concept of beauty? Squeeze into some tight-fitting dress that will cut off your circulation? Jam your feet into high-heeled shoes that will ruin your bone structure? Paint your face with chemicals and make-up that have been tested on nonhuman animals?"

"Oh yes, definitely," she said in an instant. Her fairy godperson heaved a great sigh and decided to put off her political education till another day. With his magic, he enveloped her in a beautiful, bright light and whisked her away to the palace.

And this is my favourite part of Jack and the Beanstalk:

Jack made the trade gladly and took the beans home to his mother. When he told her about the deal he had made, she grew very upset. She used to think her son was merely a conceptual rather than a linear thinker, but now she was sure that he was downright differently abled. She grabbed the three magic beans and threw them out the window in disgust. Later that day, she attended her first support- group meeting with Mothers of Storybook Children.

The next morning, Jack stuck his head out the window to see if the sun had risen in the east again (he was beginning to see a pattern in this).

And oh!, Snow White, just couldn't stop laughing.

Now, I do believe that if you read to little children these versions you'd be robbing them of the magic that surrounds Fairyland. But this stories do call for an adult rereading. After all, the wonderful William Goldman put it better than I can possibly imagine "...life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all".